regularity and containment

so its been a while since my last entry, not that it matters since no one is reading this anyway. So psychiatry has been alright. started out quite alright actually, but then we had a 5000 word case report to write up, so 2weeks of the rotation was basically spent preparing and writing it. totally sucked the life out of experiencing psychiatry to its fullest. Imust add that the program hasnt had the best structure, and till this day, I am not sure what I've actually learnt. The doctors have definitely been great though. CATT, CL, block P, CAHMS; I've definitely picked up a few things from the frenlyl regs and residents.now is just a matter of me passing the exams. Anyhow, I was lucky enough to get to sit in with a family therapy session today. It is really interesting to see the dynamics that go on within a family. Even more so when the parents are capable, successful individuals, in this case, doctor and dentist. People also debate about nuture vs nature and how much each actually contributes to WHO WE ARE. This debate will never end, and we will never have a winner. it takes two hands to clap, and what one notices as an outsider really stirs curiostiy into what actually makes a GOOD family, and is there a perfect one? TOday - from the parents point of view, it seemed that they fail to accept the fact that their son being sick today, has nothing to do with their parental ways or their own personality, attributing most of the blame to their son and his intrinsic self. That might be true, but it seems the parents were forgetting that their son's intrinsic self was essentially passed down thru mendelian genetics, and that the family environemnt created by them as parents, and other social influences ultimately has lead to the patient ending up this way. Having said that, the son on the other hand was perhaps more resistant then any child I would imagine to be with regard to parental opinions. Notwithstanding the fact that he is in his teenage years and probalby has much going on shaping his perspectives and his sense of SELF; the amoutn of resistance he was putting up, was FAR greater than even what I would personally do to my parents. Even if my explicit self was defiant and aloof, there was still my conscience that took into consideration what others said; but this wasnt apparent in the kid in question. I was sensing some kind of a self-centred, narcissitic trait.

Its really interesting, and I guess no other profession really allows you to use the experiences of others to reflect on yourself, on yoru own behaviours, thoughts and emotions. It is quite a blessing to be part of the family of medicine.

also, ive just started with spanish classes. been really fun, and really hope to be fluent in spanish by next year. hasta la vista!

byebye Summer, hello 4th year

its the last week of my summer holiday now, and the feeling that its coming to a close now isnt exactly the best. My elective ended last week and the experience I gained while over there was unforgettable. The lunar new year festivities have just begun, but as always, it is a short affair for my family, all the required visits done in one day. Can't say im a fan of the lunar new year, but it somehow felt good to be around this year, my first new year in 3 years. Also managed to squeeze in a game of golf or 2 during the time that I've been back though I wish I had more time on the course as well as the range.

Well thats all coming to a close now, and 4th year in Med school begins shortly. The requirements this year look quite ridiculous, >90% attendance and filling up + submission of time sheets, thats just crazy, NO TIME FOR GOLF!!!! oh well, shall make do and enjoy myself none the less, thats the only way to make the best of things.Its the year for my BIG exam, just another 36 weeks to perseere through.

summer holidays and electives

so its been 3 weeks since my exams ended and I've since returned to Singapore. started my holidays with some wisdom teeth extractions, and that put me out of action for almost 10 days. Things have since settled and life has gotten back to normal. The weather in Singapore has been surprisingly good, relatively little rain so far and it hasn't been as hot as expected. The weather tonight is at 23 deg C, which is rare but also aided by the rain which lasted the whole day. Golf has been going ok, but not as well as I want it to be.Some new modifications to my driver, but my swing still requires some tweaking.

Currently doing an Elective in ENT at Changi General Hospital, and its been wonderful so far. The doctors have all been really nice, from the consultants to the MOs. only my 3rd day into the placement and with 4.5 weeks left, Ive learnt so much apart from the clinical medicine aspect of it. The spectrum of dieases, the patient mindset, career advancement and prospects in surgery that I've come to be aware of has opened my perspective of medicine to a whole new level. Also, from speaking with the team of doctors, I've somewhat had a paradigm shift in terms of my plans following graduation from med school, and my myopic outlook of a surgical career has been cleared up quite a bit from simple conversations with the various ENT doctors. Thats not to say I've been discouraged or anything. The challenges are tougher, but my motivation has never been greater.

More to come in the next month or so. I'm really glad i started on this elective.

short of breath....

strange thing happened today, wouldn't expect it to happen, even more so with the hard work that I've put in. as usual, with most exams, I get trouble falling asleep the night before. But last night, it was quite a shock. Each time i closed my eyes, al I could feel was my heart racing, and no matter what I tried to think about or NOT think about, it wouldn't go away. What was worst, was that on 2 occasions, I actually felt short of breath and had to sit up in my bed to catch my breath before trying to go back to sleep again. I don't know how I got through today, must have been running on adrenaline or something.

I think i've been putting too much pressure on myself, pressure to be the best and pressure to not disappoint myself and it sort of backfired. Even more so, when I won a prize from the Faculty; I felt good at first, but then I felt I had to perform even better. it's only one more exam before the summer holidays start. Can't wait, this year has been too long.