End of Gen MED....

I've just finished my Gen Med rotation for 5th year and I must say I enjoyed it much more that I had initially expected.most fortunate enough to have nice and friendly consulant, registrar and resident. perhaps the only downside was to be paired with a moron, who has shit for brains. Taht being said, I have learnt immensely from this rotation. I personally feel that after the rotation, I' have indeed taken a wider step towards becoming a doctor. a much longer stride compared to breast surgery I must say. Writing, referrral, discharge summaries, pathology slips, radiology requests, scripts.. etc are now second nature. Clinical acumen, procedural skills and the like, I think i've made huge improvements in those areas as well. I got to DO so much more in this rotation than in any others from 3rd year,. This is the beauty of being a FINAL year medical student.much experience, and no responsibilities. My registrar feels I have a split temperament, suited for either surgery or medicine. As much as I enjoy the challenge of diagnostic and management dilemmas in Medicine, the lack of decisiveness and certainty makes it hard to bear as a career.

I cant see my self doing medicine, I think its for people with far more patience than I do possess. Patience, thats also one thing I feel I have improved on quiet a bit after having to tolerate the tomfoolery and foolishness of an almost clinically incompetent medical student. One still begs the great mystery," how did he end up passing high school?" much less getting into medicine. People ignorant of their ignorance greatly bother me, especially when I have to be patient and understanding; and allow them to share their opinions. I look forward to Gynae-oncology which is coming up next. Back to the operating theatre, where I feel I belong. the wards are a more cheerful place, but nothing surpasses the focus and decisiveness of a competent surgeon.

I actually am looking forward to be a Gen Med intern next year. But we'll see what happens, this "working" and not getting paid deal is starting to take its toll on me. 2 rotations down, 3 to go before my awesome elective in Ecuador. Cant wait. till then. peace

old and sick

I have come to this conclusion with absolute certainty. I rather be dead than old and sick. It's very sad, for both individual and family, when one is old and sick, lying in a hospital bed with no hope for revovery; the only path is a slow, painful, seemingly unending journey to deaths door. Oxygen masks, endless needles, numerous blood tests to no good end...... the menial things human beings do to hold on to something that is as good as gone. I guess its easy for me to say now, but after having to bear witness to similar sights day in and day out, it just dosent seem like a big deal anymore, when death comes knocking at your door, even the newest technology wont help you breathe no more...

learning curve.....

so in the past 3 weeks i've been taking 3rd year medical students, helping out with some of their clinical skills assessments and giving short tutorials here and there. it wasnt until today that I truly experienced what my previosu tutors must have felt, the frustration that one gets when students (while enthusiastic and eager) do not appear to grasp the importance of certain aspects of the teachings that Im trying to pass on. " Guys, please go home and read up on the following......." in the near future, " guys, can you tell me the following.....". 1st time, you give them soem leeway, 2nd time, you get frustrated, and 3rd time, you start to think that maybe, there was just something in the message that you are trying to put across is not CLEAR enough. its pretty damn frustrating, when 3rd year medical students still behave like they are in pre-clinical years; expecting to be lectured on and doing minimal self-directed learning. The learning curve when one gets to clinical years of medical training is a steep one. I'm very thankful I had someone to direct me when I was in 3rd year. Im jsut trying to do the same for other that come after me, to the best of my ability, and sometimes its just frustrating.

update 1 - needle-stick patient is HCV positive. so now I have to do blood tests for the next 6 months. damn.

unlucky

today I suffered a needle stick injury. the patient has a hx of IVDU and ETOH, and is riddled with tattoos. blood test so far has been good. hopefully nothing bad happens from this. When i got home and decided ot heat up some soup, I forgot to open the lid up enough, and my soup exploded in the microwave. fuck me.

life and death

today I saw a man literally come back to life. whilst the events had taken place over a course of approx 10 days, the progress has been remarkable. an elderly man who suffered a fall and a brain bleed, managed in intensive care and later recovered on the wards. Unfortunately for this man, he then developed blood clots in his lungs which sent him back to intensive care. this was where I first met him and heard of his story. The ICU is a scary place. Machines, tubes, needles, bottles, scurrying of doctors and nurses. Background noises of pumps, machines, patients coughing, choking, gurgling, the list is endless. Here I saw the same man, hooked up to the same instruments and looked after like every other patient with a serious problem. here every patient is broken down into numbers and percentages. the wonders of modern medicine are endless. where a man once laid on the brink of death, where family members had given up home on improvement and signed an advance medical directive. this man is now walking up in the wards, cheerful and talking. if you didnt see him over the course of the week, you could not fathom the strife he was in.

transition camp...2010

so this year I decided to attend Transition camp, which is the orientation camp for 1st year medical students. It's been a while since my own transition camp and I was curious to take a look back in time, to see if I could recognize the changes that have taken place over time, in terms of my own maturity and development as a medical student. The last 2 days have been great. I think it is worthwhile for people to often look back and think about previous milestones in their lives i.e. first day of med school, first day as a medical student, end of first rotation in Final year etc...

confused looks aplenty, shy faces, and anxiety. The look of the fresh medical student on their first days of university learning. Only now that I think about 4 years ago, when I was in a similar position, do I ask myself if I was at that point just as clueless and helpless as these freshies. Certainly didnt feel like it, but most likely that was the case. As was I 4 years go, these new 'kids' have no idea the changes that woudl happen to them as they progress through the years; they might very well know where they will end up, but the journey and experiences ahead still remain a mystery. We as the tutors and guides at the camp impart our previous experiences on to them, hoping words and pearls of wisdom would give them a clearer path in which to navigate from the first day; and in doing-so I personally have reflected much upon my own change in the past 4 years, and also wait in anticipation of whats to come in the next 4 for me.

What's more amazing is the awestruck look, and reverence these first years have when they learn that you (or I in this case) are not a FINAL year medical student. It's like final year medical students have some magical powers to captivate and attract. These very same feelings I had, when meeting final year medical students of yesteryears. While it feels good, it also somehow imposes a greater burden on learning and the continuous pursuit of excellence. The most drastic change I feel is the difference in sense of uncertainty I notice I had, as a result of interacting with these bunch of 1st years in the past compared to now. I'd like to beleive Im quite the self-assured, confident and bold doctor-to-be right now, and no longer the 'unsure medical student'

this has certainly been quite the introspective experience for me. feels like yesterday when I was at this camp myself in 2006. and now, in only a matter of months I will have become a Dr myself, with real responsibilities to society. It scares me, but it excites me even more.

Final year

so I just arrived in Melbourne yesterday and have now finally settled in to my new place. it is spacious, it is gorgeous, it is going to be a fun house. Final year will be a testing year, despite the 'relax' nature of it all, i intend to give it my best when im on the wards, clinics and in theatre. its going to be a taste of what is to come in 2011, and when that time I comes i intend to be fully prepared. 2010 is going to be an awesome year of fun, learning, and out of this world experiences. FINAL YEAR MED STUDENT, ECUADOR, SPANISH, MBBS here I come.

p.s. http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2055511&id=212900539&l=e8e44f7bc9

check the pictures of my new home for 2010.